The Place No One Wants To Be
by Marzi
Summary: Toby gets some help from a TV therapist. Sweeney Todd meets Dr Phil challenge. Companion to A Scream?


A/N Some people said I should 'continue' with A Scream? and I've actually wanted to try out this Dr Phil challenge for a while, so I came up with this. You _should_ go read A Scream? if you haven't already. Little notes to be made about this, I actually don't watch Dr Phil, this is um.. _very_ AU and its rated T because Mr. Todd says a bad word. For any of you who read my Games series, I'm afraid there wont be one up this week. Don't forget to review…

* * *

"Today we have with us a very special guest. Can everyone give a big hand for Tobias Ragg?" Dr Phil smiled encouragingly into the audience. "Now Toby, can I call you Toby? How are you feeling today?"

Sitting in a large plush chair, the thin gangly boy looked even smaller than normal. There was also a haunted look in his dark rimmed eyes, in short, he didn't look well.

Dr Phil coughed when the boy didn't respond. "Well Toby, do you know why we decided to bring you onto the show today?"

He nodded his head slightly.

"We're going to help you Toby, talk you through your experience." Phil continued in a fatherly voice.

"T-talk about it?" The child finally stuttered out, looking frightened.

"Yes, that's why you're here. We're all going to help you."

"Help me!" The boy suddenly leapt up from the chair. "'Ave any of you e'er seen yer mum gettin' ravaged by someun' you hate jus' outside yer door!"

The audience stared at him in shock, but Dr Phil frowned disapprovingly. "Now, do you really need to shout?"

"Yes!" He howled out, making his voice even louder.

"Security." Dr Phil called into his radio.

* * *

"I do feel truly awful 'bout tha'.." Mrs. Lovett's hands twisted in her skirts nervously, casting glances at the audience. "I ne'er intended fer 'im ta see somin' like tha' an' I was guna break it to 'im gently 'bout me an' Mr. Todd."

Sitting next to her on a sofa, Mr. Todd looked rather bored, aside from a tiny smirk on his face.

Dr Phil looked at the pair disapprovingly. "And what were you two doing so close to the boy's room?'

Mrs. Lovett blushed while Sweeney's smirk grew. "Why don't you tell them pet?" He asked, turning to look at her.

"Mr. T!" She gasped, but he simply stared at her. "It was your idea." She suddenly snapped, crossing her arms indignantly.

"What do you mean?" Phil asked, trying to get himself back in the conversation.

"Why are we here?" Sweeney growled irritably, good mood gone with Mrs. Lovett's outburst.

"You are here, both of you, because of the traumatic event you have pressed upon Tobias."

"Traumatic? If the boy had any brains he'd have been taking notes."

The audience gasped at Sweeney.

"What kind of father figure do you think you are?" Dr Phil asked, shaking his head.

"Father figure?" The man raised an eyebrow. "Just because I'm fucking his mum that makes me his father?"

"Mr. T!" Mrs. Lovett snapped, more embarrassed than anything.

"Oh hush, you know I would have preferred to have him stuffed in the trunk next to Pirelli than actually have him around the shop."

"Sweeney," Dr Phil said firmly. "Do you know what you are saying?"

"Of course I know what I'm bloody saying, I said it didn't I?" A murderous glint appeared in his eye as he watched the doctor.

"I knew it!" Toby suddenly ran on stage, followed by several security guards. "I knew you kill 'im!" He howled.

"So?" Sweeney asked.

"C'mon mum! I told ya 'e was bad news I did!" Pulling away from the security guards Toby ran towards Mrs. Lovett and took her hand.

"Oh luv, ya's only overreacting a bit you is." She soothed, trying to calm him down.

"Overreacting! Mum, he just confessed ta killin' signor Pirelli!"

"Does it really matter?" She asked, looking at him with a faint smile. "Didn't 'e used ta give ya terrible lashins'?"

"Well, yes mum, but…"

"Mrs. Lovett." Dr Phil interjected. "Are you suggesting murder it a perfectly acceptable course of action?"

She stared him, blinking a few times before responding. "Well, I suppose it is."

Everyone else gasped. Well, everyone except Toby and Sweeney.

"Well, I suppose if ya say it's alright mum." The boy continued.

"It is." Sweeney snapped. "Now can we leave?"

"How can you two say that?" Phil asked. "Imprinting such bad morals on a boy his age!"

"How are they bad?" The barber droned. "If someone does bad by you, get them out of the way."

"Murder is not the way to accomplish it! Especially when you get caught and sent to prison."

"Well then, we aren't to get caught ey?" He smirked at Mrs. Lovett conspiratorially and she smiled back.

Another collective and clichéd gasp echoed across the stage.

"Mrs. Lovett, are you helping him cover up his murders?" The therapist asked.

"'Course I am. Can't let the man I love get taken away, can I?"

Several heads in the audience nodded.

"Bloody wonder." Sweeney sighed, still staring at her.

Toby looked uncomfortable, caught inbetween the two.

"Security." Dr Phil whispered into his radio. The guards already on the stage looked at each other with fright as Sweeney stood and advanced towards them.

* * *

"More pie, Toby dear?"

"Please mum." He smiled at Mrs. Lovett brightly. "Is there any of that therapist left?"

"I'm afraid Mr. T finished that last night. How about woman in the second row?"

"Alright."


End file.
